My folks were English. They were too poor to be British. I still have a bit of British in me. In fact, my blood type is solid marmalade.

My folks were English . . . we were too poor to be British.

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

I've always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It's an island and the audience can't run very far.

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

Failure is the only thing I've ever been a success at.

Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn't get elected, he'd go back to acting.