The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie. And an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark...

There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.

Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for.

The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything.

The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I've been doing that all my life.

I don't know what people have against government; they haven't done anything.

In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you. In Hollywood the weatherman gets a shooting schedule from all the major studios and then figures out where he can fit in a little rain without upsetting Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer too much.