The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie. And an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark...

Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level.

I tell jokes to pay my green fees.

I have too much money invested in sweaters.

Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life. She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.

Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It's going to get us out of the house after dark!

I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.