The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.

Today's ballroom dances like the swim, the frug, the chicken and the monkey are really nervous disorders set to music.

The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.

For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green

I don't bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard ... I sell.

The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE - and a maid to press it for me.

Miniskirts have become quite a fad. They're even some guys wearing them. Don't laugh, if you had thought to of that, you'd not be here now.