I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage.
For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?
Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure.
A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.