I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.
As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn't been touched by the war and blew it to hell.
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.
I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.