When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

It flies so high, I swear I heard the organs playing.

I don't know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He's done nothing.

It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn't know they had a caddie division.

Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.

President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.