I don't bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard ... I sell.

I'm from Los Angeles... I don't trust any air I can't see.

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.

It was a typically British birth... I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward... I came out in sympathy.

If my golf game was a prize fight, they'd stop it.

I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there.

All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It's in the lease.