Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.

That's life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.

Miniskirts have become quite a fad. They're even some guys wearing them. Don't laugh, if you had thought to of that, you'd not be here now.

Arnold Palmer is the biggest crowd pleaser since the invention of the portable sanitary facility.

A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.

Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here - just for me.

I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.