A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.

I've been playing golf a long time, although it's not really true that on my first round they strapped my bag on the back of a dinosaur.

If they liked you, they didn't applaud -- they let you live.

Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.

Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?

Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.

I have this terrific make-up man. But he's expensive. I have to bring him in from Lourdes.