A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.

Today's ballroom dances like the swim, the frug, the chicken and the monkey are really nervous disorders set to music.

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.

Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for being on grass.

To give you an idea of how fast we travelled - we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.