It's a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you'll be able to watch it all on TV.

You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages.

I have too much money invested in sweaters.

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He's always had an agent for that.

I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.

Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies

And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them. We didn't know that in America after the war, you wouldn't be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.