Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome - the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.

The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear's huge jaws. I wouldn't even try that with my agent.

I don't know what people have against government; they haven't done anything.

We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.

My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They're still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.

Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.

It's a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you'll be able to watch it all on TV.