Every Naval vessel has a contingent of Marines aboard. After all, the Sailors have to have someone to dance with.

Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday ... He would say, 'Keep it sweet and short and don't try to be funny.'

Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here - just for me.

Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.

On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he's now my golf bag.

Everybody knows what California smog is - that's fog with the vitamins removed.

My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They're still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.