I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters.
When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
My folks were English . . . we were too poor to be British.
Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.