I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
Television. That's where movies go when they die.
My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They're still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome - the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.