Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it's also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.

Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.

One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we'll have her forever.

Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?

She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all.

If I had that kind of money, I wouldn't come to Vietnam, I'd send for it.

I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.