Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it's also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.

Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure.

In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you. In Hollywood the weatherman gets a shooting schedule from all the major studios and then figures out where he can fit in a little rain without upsetting Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer too much.

We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.

Every Naval vessel has a contingent of Marines aboard. After all, the Sailors have to have someone to dance with.

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.

Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.