Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn't get elected, he'd go back to acting.

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

I led such a sheltered life I didn't go out with girls until I was almost four.

I've always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It's an island and the audience can't run very far.

The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.