Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn't get elected, he'd go back to acting.

Your ignorance cramps my conversation

A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.

You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages.

We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

I've been playing golf a long time, although it's not really true that on my first round they strapped my bag on the back of a dinosaur.