If I had that kind of money, I wouldn't come to Vietnam, I'd send for it.

I don't know what people have against government; they haven't done anything.

It's a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he's dead.

Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.

It's very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.

You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.