Welcome to the Academy Awards, or, as it's known at my house, Passover.
As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn't been touched by the war and blew it to hell.
If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he's now my golf bag.
I was lucky I wasn't a better boxer, or that's what I'd be now - a punchy ex-pug.