Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don't worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.

I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.

We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.

Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!

Everybody knows what California smog is - that's fog with the vitamins removed.

My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They're still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.