Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don't worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.

They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.

We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.

If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.

The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.

You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.