Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.

It's very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.

The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything.

Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here - just for me.

To give you an idea of how fast we travelled - we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.

Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?