My folks were English . . . we were too poor to be British.

Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for.

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all.

We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.