Arnold Palmer is the biggest crowd pleaser since the invention of the portable sanitary facility.

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water.

It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.

In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you. In Hollywood the weatherman gets a shooting schedule from all the major studios and then figures out where he can fit in a little rain without upsetting Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer too much.

If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.

Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.