I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold.

Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.

The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything.

Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.

Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.