Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him.
That's life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
If they liked you, they didn't applaud -- they let you live.
Wine, women and song have been replaced by prune juice, a heating pad and the Gong Show.
Gerry Ford is easy to spot on the course. He drives the cart with the red cross painted on top.