I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.

You know what a fan letter is - it's just an inky raspberry.

Miniskirts have become quite a fad. They're even some guys wearing them. Don't laugh, if you had thought to of that, you'd not be here now.

We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.

I've been married fifty-five years and I've been home three weeks.

It was a typically British birth... I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward... I came out in sympathy.

Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It's going to get us out of the house after dark!