You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.
The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I've been doing that all my life.