I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.

Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don't worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.

It gave dirty politics a bad name.

Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure.

There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.

I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.