I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.

My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They're still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.

There's a very apt saying in show business: "If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very sick. "

Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.

Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.