A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

Our first stop was red square, the heart of Moscow - if Moscow has one.

That's life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.

Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don't worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.

Somebody should tell Jerry Falwell that God is an Independent . . . he's not rich enough to be a Republican.

There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.

I have this terrific make-up man. But he's expensive. I have to bring him in from Lourdes.