Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for.

Eisenhower admitted that the budget can't be balanced and McCarthy said the communists are taking over. You don't know what to worry about these days - whether the country will be overthrown or overdrawn.

The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.