After the 1984 Summer Olympics, Reagan wanted to add the U.S. volleyball team to his Cabinet. He figured if they can't shove his programs down Congress' throat, nobody can.

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water.

America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold.

I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight - and that was just their hair.

I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.

Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I've never heard of a clean one.

A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.