Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He's always had an agent for that.

US President Gerald Ford's golf was so bad we thought he was a 'Hitman for the PGA!

Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for.

Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!

Every Naval vessel has a contingent of Marines aboard. After all, the Sailors have to have someone to dance with.

You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.