It's not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course - you just follow the wounded.

Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.

I'm from Los Angeles... I don't trust any air I can't see.

Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.

Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.

Seventy years of ad-lib material, and I am speechless.

Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.