It's amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn't sell theirs threw them away.

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.

The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything.

Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands

Where else but in America could the women's liberation movement take off their bras, then go on TV to complain about their lack of support?

The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I've been doing that all my life.