Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
I have this terrific make-up man. But he's expensive. I have to bring him in from Lourdes.
Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes. The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.
Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
Welcome to the Academy Awards, or, as it's known at my house, Passover.