US President Gerald Ford's golf was so bad we thought he was a 'Hitman for the PGA!

Television. That's where movies go when they die.

The only time to believe any kind of rating is when it shows you at the top.

Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?

Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.

I've always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It's an island and the audience can't run very far.

We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.