Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.

Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.

There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.

I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.

There's a very apt saying in show business: "If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very sick. "

Wine, women and song have been replaced by prune juice, a heating pad and the Gong Show.

Miniskirts have become quite a fad. They're even some guys wearing them. Don't laugh, if you had thought to of that, you'd not be here now.