Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.

Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem. They're all running for the Presidency.

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.

For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green

I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.

The place was so British, I wouldn't have been surprised if the mice wore monocles.

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.