You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages.

We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.

Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.

We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.

Please don't stand up on my account.

England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.

He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England