I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage.

Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for.

I've been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.

Everybody knows what California smog is - that's fog with the vitamins removed.

Arnold Palmer is the biggest crowd pleaser since the invention of the portable sanitary facility.

I've never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn't know how really great he is.

I don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.