I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.

Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.

We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.

I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight - and that was just their hair.

I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.

I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.