I have this terrific make-up man. But he's expensive. I have to bring him in from Lourdes.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
US President Gerald Ford's golf was so bad we thought he was a 'Hitman for the PGA!
If my golf game was a prize fight, they'd stop it.