I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.

And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them. We didn't know that in America after the war, you wouldn't be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

Be happy you guys. Be proud! You know what you are: you're God's frozen people.

I've been married fifty-five years and I've been home three weeks.

Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.