Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn't get elected, he'd go back to acting.

Television. That's where movies go when they die.

Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.

You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages.

If my golf game was a prize fight, they'd stop it.