Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

With today's movies, if we took out all the bad language, we'd go back to silent films.

Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.

Where else but in America could the women's liberation movement take off their bras, then go on TV to complain about their lack of support?

He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England

I can still chase women, only downhill

Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes. The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.