Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes. The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.

Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.

I've been married fifty-five years and I've been home three weeks.

President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.

Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.