Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.

Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned it into a series.

Arnold Palmer is the biggest crowd pleaser since the invention of the portable sanitary facility.

I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it's silly to let the game get to you. When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I'm breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That's what gives me the strength to break the club.

I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there.

All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It's in the lease.