I don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.

There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

I don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.

It flies so high, I swear I heard the organs playing.

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

It's amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn't sell theirs threw them away.