And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them. We didn't know that in America after the war, you wouldn't be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.

Vice President Spiro Agnew can not cheat on his score : because all you have to do is look back down the fairway and count the wounded.

We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.

When you get over 95, every day is your day.

I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!

There's a very apt saying in show business: "If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very sick. "

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?