The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.

Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He's always had an agent for that.

The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear's huge jaws. I wouldn't even try that with my agent.

Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.

The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything.

I can't understand what's holding up our missile program. It's the first time the government ever had trouble making the taxpayers' money go up in smoke.