The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.

I tell jokes to pay my green fees.

I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE - and a maid to press it for me.

Where else but in America could the women's liberation movement take off their bras, then go on TV to complain about their lack of support?

Wine, women and song have been replaced by prune juice, a heating pad and the Gong Show.