Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?

It's amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn't sell theirs threw them away.

Be happy you guys. Be proud! You know what you are: you're God's frozen people.

You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers.

It sure has been a pleasure for us to broadcast for the sailors and soldiers; besides, its part of the National Defence Program to prepare our boys for anything.

Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for being on grass.

Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.