Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.

After the 1984 Summer Olympics, Reagan wanted to add the U.S. volleyball team to his Cabinet. He figured if they can't shove his programs down Congress' throat, nobody can.

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.

Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level.

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.