Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.

Eisenhower admitted that the budget can't be balanced and McCarthy said the communists are taking over. You don't know what to worry about these days - whether the country will be overthrown or overdrawn.

After the 1984 Summer Olympics, Reagan wanted to add the U.S. volleyball team to his Cabinet. He figured if they can't shove his programs down Congress' throat, nobody can.

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.

It's amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn't sell theirs threw them away.

Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands

It flies so high, I swear I heard the organs playing.