Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.

Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.

Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday ... He would say, 'Keep it sweet and short and don't try to be funny.'

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.

I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.

We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water.