Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.

As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn't been touched by the war and blew it to hell.

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes. The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

I can't understand what's holding up our missile program. It's the first time the government ever had trouble making the taxpayers' money go up in smoke.

I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage.