A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He's always had an agent for that.

One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we'll have her forever.

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.

Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?

Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday ... He would say, 'Keep it sweet and short and don't try to be funny.'

Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.