My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.

A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.

Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.

Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.

Everyone's nervous these days. Ronald McDonald has hired six bodyguards, and that's just to protect his buns.

Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you'll promise her anything.

The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything.