I'm from Los Angeles... I don't trust any air I can't see.

My old friend Jack Benny has only had one ball all his golfing life. And now he's lost it. The string came off!

I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.

To give you an idea of how fast we travelled - we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.

The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie. And an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark...

Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for.

Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands