Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
Everybody knows what California smog is - that's fog with the vitamins removed.
You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers.
Television. That's where movies go when they die.
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.