I have too much money invested in sweaters.

For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green

Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure.

Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.

Golf's really fun in Japan because of the women caddies. ... I saw one guy start out playing alone with his caddie. By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.

Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.

I've got to watch myself these days. It's too exciting watching anyone else.